A love letter (If you are someone that loves books, you would love this, if not, JUST GET LOST!!!!)

To Beatrice Snicket,


"I will love you as a thief loves a gallery and as a crow loves a murder, as a cloud loves bats and as a range loves braes. I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong. i will love you as a battlefield loves young men and as peppermints love your allergies, and I will love you as the banana peel loves the shoe of a man who was just struck by a shingle falling off a house. I will love you as a volunteer fire department loves rushing into burning buildings and as burning buildings love to chase them back out, and as a parachute loves to leave a blimp and as a blimp operator loves to chase after it. 



I will love you as a dagger loves a certain person’s back, and as a certain person loves to wear dagger proof tunics, and as a dagger proof tunic loves to go to a certain dry cleaning facility, and how a certain employee of a dry cleaning facility loves to stay up late with a pair of binoculars, watching a dagger factory for hours in the hopes of catching a burglar, and as a burglar loves sneaking up behind people with binoculars, suddenly realizing that she has left her dagger at home. I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp, and as a gasping person loves a glass of brandy to calm their nerves, and as a glass of brandy loves to shatter on the floor, and as the noise of glass shattering loves to make someone else gasp, and as someone else gasping loves a nearby desk to lean against, even if leaning against it presses a lever that loves to open a drawer and reveal a secret compartment. I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and until all the secrets have gone gasping into the world. I will love you until all the codes and hearts have been broken and until every anagram and egg has been unscrambled. 



I will love you until every fire is extinguised and until every home is rebuilt from the handsomest and most susceptible of woods, and until every criminal is handcuffed by the laziest of policemen. I will love unitil M. hates snakes and J. hates grammar, and I will love you until C. realizes S. is not worthy of his love and N. realizes he is not worthy of the V. I will love you until the bird hates a nest and the worm hates an apple, and until the apple hates a tree and the tree hates a nest, and until a bird hates a tree and an apple hates a nest, although honestly I cannot imagine that last occurrence no matter how hard I try. I will love you as we grow older, which has just happened, and has happened again, and happened several days ago, continuously, and then several years before that, and will continue to happen as the spinning hands of every clock and the flipping pages of every calendar mark the passage of time, except for the clocks that people have forgotten to wind and the calendars that people have forgotten to place in a highly visible area. I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where we once we were so close that we could slip the curved straw, and the long, slender spoon, between our lips and fingers respectively. 



I will love you until the chances of us running into one another slip from slim to zero, and until your face is fogged by distant memory, and your memory faced by distant fog, and your fog memorized by a distant face, and your distance distanced by the memorized memory of a foggy fog. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, no matter where you avoid and who you don’t see, and no matter who sees you avoiding where you go. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this, and now matter how I am discovered after what happens to me as I am discovering this." 


From Lemony Snicket

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My favourite writer's quote

Okay, this post might bore a lot of people out...but you know 


what, if you are a fan of whimsical writing and most 


importantly, if you simply adore Lemony Snicket, you guys 


might actually appreciate this...








"People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict." 
— Lemony Snicket (The Grim Grotto)




"Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another."
— Lemony Snicket


"Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night's sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too."
— Lemony Snicket (Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid)




"I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies."
— Lemony Snicket (The Penultimate Peril)


"If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats."
— Lemony Snicket (The Wide Window)




"You would run much slower if you were dragging something behind you, like a knapsack or a sheriff."
— Lemony Snicket






"Taking one’s chances is like taking a bath, because sometimes you end up feeling comfortable and warm, and sometimes there is something terrible lurking around that you cannot see until it is too late and you can do nothing else but scream and cling to a plastic duck."
— Lemony Snicket




"It is always cruel to laugh at people, of course, although sometimes if they are wearing an ugly hat it is hard to control yourself."
— Lemony Snicket




"The moral of Snow White is never eat apples."
— Lemony Snicket




"Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear."
— Lemony Snicket (The Carnivorous Carnival)




"The sad truth is the truth is sad."
— Lemony Snicket (The Hostile Hospital)




"A man of my acquaintance once wrote a poem called "The Road Less Traveled", describing a journey he took through the woods along a path most travelers never used. The poet found that the road less traveled was peaceful but quite lonely, and he was probably a bit nervous as he went along, because if anything happened on the road less traveled, the other travelers would be on the road more frequently traveled and so couldn't hear him as he cried for help. Sure enough, that poet is dead."
— Lemony Snicket (The Slippery Slope)




"This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you."
— Lemony Snicket (The Reptile Room)




"Perhaps if we saw what was ahead of us, and glimpsed the follies, and misfortunes that would befall us later on, we would all stay in our mother's wombs, and then there would be nobody in the world but a great number of very fat, very irritated women."
— Lemony Snicket




"A passport, as I'm sure you know, is a document that one shows to government officials whenever one reaches a border between two countries, so that the official can learn who you are, where you were born, and how you look when photographed unflatteringly."
— Lemony Snicket




"If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, "Well this isn't to bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed" but most of us would say something more along the lines of "Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm,!"
— Lemony Snicket (Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid)






"Stealing, of course, is a crime, and a very impolite thing to do. But like most impolite things, it is excusable under certain circumstances. Stealing is not excusable if, for instance, you are in a museum and you decide that a certain painting would look better in your house, and you simply grab the painting and take it there. But if you were very, very hungry, and you had no way of obtaining money, it would be excusable to grab the painting, take it to your house, and eat it."
— Lemony Snicket (The Wide Window)




"The burning of a book is a sad, sad sight, for even though a book is nothing but ink and paper, it feels as if the ideas contained in the book are disappearing as the pages turn to ashes and the cover and binding--which is the term for the stitching and glue that holds the pages together--blacken and curl as the flames do their wicked work. When someone is burning a book, they are showing utter contempt for all of the thinking that produced its ideas, all of the labor that went into its words and sentences, and all of the trouble that befell the author . . . "
— Lemony Snicket (The Penultimate Peril)






"Today was a very cold and bitter day, as cold and bitter as a cup of hot chocolate, if the cup of hot chocolate had vinegar added to it and were placed in a refrigerator for several hours."
— Lemony Snicket




"This toast feels raw. Is it safe to eat raw toast?"
— Lemony Snicket




"But one type of book that practically no one likes to read is a book about the law. Books about the law are notorious for being very long, very dull, and very difficult to read. This is one reason many lawyers make heaps of money. The money is an incentive - the word "incentive" here means "an offered reward to persuade you to do something you don't want to do - to read long, dull, and difficult books."
— Lemony Snicket (The Bad Beginning)






"It is a curious thing, but as one travels the world getting older and older, it appears that happiness is easier to get used to than despair. The second time you have a root beer float, for instance, your happiness at sipping the delicious concoction may not be quite as enormous as when you first had a root beer float, and the twelfth time your happiness may be still less enormous, until root beer floats begin to offer you very little happiness at all, because you have become used to the taste of vanilla ice cream and root beer mixed together. However, the second time you find a thumbtack in your root beer float, your despair is much greater than the first time, when you dismissed the thumbtack as a freak accident rather than part of the scheme of a soda jerk, a phrase which here means "ice cream shop employee who is trying to injure your tongue," and by the twelfth time you find a thumbtack, your despair is even greater still, until you can hardly utter the phrase "root beer float" without bursting into tears. It is almost as if happiness is an acquired taste, like coconut cordial or ceviche, to which you can eventually become accustomed, but despair is something surprising each time you encounter it."
— Lemony Snicket (The End)






"Can't we sleep ten minutes more? I was having a lovely dream about sneezing without covering my mouth, and giving everybody germs."
— Lemony Snicket






"In love, as in life, one misheard word can be tremendously important. If you tell someone you love them, for instance, you must be absolutely certain that they have replied "I love you back" and not "I love your back" before you continue the conversation."
— Lemony Snicket




"It was darker than a pitch-black pather, covered in tar, eating black licorice at the very bottom of the deepest part of the Black Sea."
— Lemony Snicket (The Ersatz Elevator)






"Composer” is a word which here means “a person who sits in a room, muttering and humming and figuring out what notes the orchestra is going to play.” This is called composing. But last night, the Composer was not muttering. He was not humming. He was not moving, or even breathing.
This is called decomposing."
— Lemony Snicket (The Composer Is Dead)




"I'm sure you have heard it said that appearance does not matter so much, and that it is what's on the inside that counts. This is, of course, utter nonsense, because if it were true then people who were good on this inside would would never have to comb their hair or take a bath, and the whole world would smell even worse than it already does."
— Lemony Snicket (The Miserable Mill)


Hope you enjoy it. And tell me your favourite quotes from him!!!!


~Twitchy Nichii

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Mirror On the Wall (Published in STAR 2010)

The mirror on the wall, gazed painstakingly at Snow, the fairest maiden of them all, her skin was as fair and pale as the purest snow during winter, her long dark ebony hair cascading down her shoulders, and her eyes, that dark coal eyes were now empty, her eyes swollen from tears. The mirror on the wall felt so much pain, so much sorrow, looking at her in such a state. The mirror loved Snow White with all his heart, and he would do anything, just anything to make her happy, but he knew, he was the one; he was the one that led her to this sorrow. Just like the previous month, Snow looked up at the mirror, her eyes empty…lifeless…and soft pale lips moved slowly, forming the words, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, show me my prince now…”

The mirror on the wall winced, he knew he could not defy her, it was the curse that the witch, Snow White’s mother that had put upon himself, to show whatever your owners desired. He gazed at her once again, and asked softly, “Dear Snow, is that really what you want…? Maybe another day perhaps…maybe, we can postpone this.”

Snow hugged her small frail body, as if she was trying to hold herself together and then she nodded weakly. The mirror had no choice, an image of Prince Charming kissing a beautiful princess that seemed to be in deep slumber appeared. The mirror quickly faded that image away, and the mirror hated himself, hated himself for showing her…for showing her that stupid prince’s way. Snow hugged herself even harder, and tears started pouring down her cheeks again. The mirror kept silent. He hated himself, but he hated Prince Charming even more. Last month, Prince Charming was off climbing a rather high tower by that maiden’s long braid. A few months back, he was flirting with a girl with a fish tail. Only last week, when Snow White requested the same favour of him again…the mirror had reluctantly showed her an image of Prince Charming dancing with a girl, with the tiniest feet possible, in a pair of glass shoes.

The mirror abhorred Prince Charming, more than anything in the world. That stupid young boy, cheating maidens of their love everywhere he goes. That stupid young boy that thought of nothing else but his supposed charm and good looks. That grin that he gave when he knew he had captured the girl’s heart. How could he? How could he make her fall in love with him and just leave? How could he leave weak little Snow just like that, with his false promises of returning? How could he leave her alone...leave her crying after him...how could he? The more the mirror thought of the prince, the angrier he got. He gazed at the crying Snow adoringly...How could anyone not love such an exquisite little creature...? The mirror loved Snow...loved Snow with all he had...he loved watching her small lips upturned into a smile, it was as if a beautiful flower had blossomed and the whole room bright with her radiance. The mirror loved watching her do her stitching...the way her dainty fingers danced...she was mesmerising...

The mirror had been jealous, very jealous when the prince came and whisked Snow away from him. The mirror was mad, but it soon settled to remorse...but she came back...she came back battered...and weak...and abandoned...The mirror on the wall whispered into the wind... “Let me be your prince darling...let me be your prince...”

Snow White, at least the way I see it.

Ps: There you guys go...one of my published work. Tell me how you feel after you read it okay? Leave lots of comments for me...please..

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Girls are so damn frustrating

Warning: This post does not signify that I am a lesbian or interested to be one. Just a different take on how things are.

Look, for guys out there, you say...aiz...girls are so damn frustrating sometimes and yet you can't live without them. True true.

But based on some observations, here are the few things I came out with that guys may find girls frustrating.

When Girl is asked to go out on a date, she is always not ready when we get there. Plus, she has to put on make-up, blow-dry her hair, do some kind of beauty mask session. YOU KNOW WHATS THE WORST PART! YOU KNOW WHATS THE WORST PART! When she chooses what she is gonna wear....OH THE HORROR, first they think they would prefer a skirt...then they would ask you what colour u prefer. If you don't say anything, they said you don't care about them. If you say something, they would choose the other one and scold, "YOU BLIND ISIT????? Green with purple??? Wait till I get my skirt on then I would butcher you into pieces and then throw them for the sharks to eat!!!!"


Not only that, then would come, oh dear...I think a dress would look better. (Same cycle)
Then...no, I think...pants would look better
Then it will be...You know what, skirts are still better.
And then....do you think I should wear leggings? 




When we bring a girl out for lunch...we expect them to eat...we hate those that just ordered water and sandwich at first. Yes, we may think that you are small and fragile and rabbit-like at first and wants to protect you. But after we get married, you would turn into a dinosaur and gobble up all the food on the table and honestly speaking. Sometimes it looks very scary. Scratch that, it looks very scary.


We hate it when you expect us to pay for everything, even when you go out for your grocery shopping, or worst, clothes shopping..(that is a never-ending hell for us), you expect us to pay. I mean, I don't even like that pink long- sleeve shirt...if you buy something that shows a bit of cleavage of something, then we would be more than willing to pay


Look, face it, we are perverts. But we don't like it when you wear revealing clothes in public. I don't like it when that tall, dark and handsome guy stares at you because I know if I hit him, I would end up in the hospital.




Ish, one anniversary a year is already a headache, there is valentine's day, birthdays...sisters' birthday...labour's day (okay..maybe not the last one) and now they expect us to celebrate monthly anniversaries??? WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO DO? SUCK US DRY???


Stop trying to compare us with your ex. If he is so good, go back to him.


Don't throw a fit at us when we say you are fat. It means we love you. I mean we still stick around hugging your fleshly tummy even though you are fat...and you eat more than normal girls..which means spending more money...ahh heck, we love you.

We hate it when you say you are fat. And when we agree. You yell at us.
We hate it when you say you are pretty. And when we disagree. You yell at us.



IT IS NEVER PLEASING YOU GIRLS!



teehee~


But the fact of the matter is, girls will constantly be annoying to guys. And guys will be constantly annoying to girls....okay, on the sidenote. I just took a few pictures. So I am gonna post it here although it has nothing to do with the topic. LOLX

er hem...

peace sign...like my apple green nails? I love it!

If you read my blog, be it that you are a hater, I STILL LOVE YOU GUYS! 

(cacat love...)

Bye guys, look forward to my next post!!!

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One Day as Bryan C.

I did not update my blog for what? 7 days? And people went like...YER...this girl is inactive one! Hey come on, the girl has a life apart from writing and blogging alright??? To be honest I was working on an essay for a competition. BUT STILL???? YOU GET WHAT I FREAKING MEAN RIGHT???

And plus I had been having blogging block...or writer's block....I don't know what you hip people call it...BUT I DON'T HAVE AN IDEA ON WHAT TO BLOG ABOUT! Because I am not the type of blogger that just goes on and on and on and on about their day. Yes, that is an outlet for them to vent. This blog? Nah...its for the fun of writing interesting and wacky things or even..sometimes day to day vents and ARGH! I AM SO BEING HYPOCRITCAL.

Anyway back to the topic, I had decided that I will live like Bryan for a day. So...yeah, as the market philosophy go...MARKET FOR BREAKFAST!

MARKET 'CHAP FAN': RM3

And as Sifu Bryan would say, delicious is not important! Its that it is 3 bucks that count!!!!

And in case you guys are wondering how does it taste like? Lets just say its the same dishes everyday, so lucky for me, I am just going to try living like Bryan for only ONE day, because god knows, maybe after a week of this, I might grow into a Bryan....yikes!!! MY HAIR IS GOING TO DROP OFF AND I AM GOING TO GROW A...okay...the 'chap fan' from the market is definitely screwing my brain. 

(PS: I know its too early in a post to add a 'ps', but just to clarify things, when I say live like Bryan for a  

        DAY...I mean food and spending wise....which is food wise...ARGH, YOU GET IT!)

And well after that I was thirsty but no....I can't spend money on such a trifle thing such as drink....

Water from Water Dispensary: Free/ Priceless..

I just have to bring an empty bottle to class and fill it up with water at the college's water dispensary. AND WAHLA! FREE WATER. HAHAHA!!!! The feeling of not using any money at all is very very very....i don't know...I would leave that for the conclusion of the day...

Alright, moving on to lunch, I am back home at 12pm. All hungry....and there must be some way to save money and still be full and then I got a strike of brilliance!

Maggi and Water: RM1.69 and Free

Look, there it is....I am glad that when they made this pre-packed food for the war people or the astronauts before we were even born, some brilliant man came up with the idea of selling to us commoners....wait...did astronauts exist then...ARGH, let me just tell you the history of maggi hot cup.


Once upon a time...


In a kingdom Far Far Away....


There lived an astronaut that hated Maggi Hot Cup. And everytime he went out to space, he dreaded the time when he felt hungry because he did not want to eat that horrible pre-packed space food. And one day, he got so fed up of eating it, he started eating his fellow astronauts.




(.....PG18 scenes....)


Then, when he came back down to Earth, the SAOTW (Sherrifs Association of the World) locked him up....and forced him to eat more Maggi Hot Cup as his punishment...and after 200 years of being locked up...( Astronauts live longer. I think.) He was released, he was very angry at the world that time because after all those years of wasting his youth in prison, he became old. And very old man does not go well with the local girls in bars. So he vowed to take revenge of the world, and commercialize the awful Maggi Hot Cup and tried to force the whole world to depend on Maggi Hot Cup when you are poor and broke, or just plain cheapskate!!!




The End.



Alright, enough of that. Let us moved on to the afternoon tea. People would usually go for Starbucks...and spent like a fortune to get a coffee (trying to get into the Bryan mindset)..So I had decided to be rather innovate or should I say cheapskate by....

Ipoh White Coffee: Free

 (Bought by mum mar!)

And plus, it is from Ipoh. Bryan is from Ipoh...Ahhh, I am playing my part to the ultimate perfection. I would like to add that this Ipoh White Coffee is rich and creamy (I am totally copying whatever written on the packet. And it is cheap, and seriously coffee taste all the same to me, so it doesn't really matter...just a bit lazy to wash the cup lar or boil the water lar...You know lar. If ask the maid to do it, will that be considered cheating?? (I did not ask the maid to do it for me, I made the coffee myself okay???!!)

Then, we have to have dinner..

Porridge and Soup and Water: Free Free Free

You want to eat noodles the whole day isit? Must have variety mar! So for dinner, I ate porridge, somemore got soup and water. I mean...is that not amazing???? I know some people are doubting the existence of instant porridge but...

Read my lips...I mean read the label.

TOLD YA!!!

And of course supper, nothing beats a vegetarian meal and cocoa!!

Seaweed Mushroom Noodles and Milo: Free and Free

Well....what do you think???? Did I not achieve my Bryan-ess today? I mean I only spent RM4.95 today! HecK! I am even more amazing than Bryan!!! 

Can't wait to eat like a normal functioning human being tomorrow. 

Teehee!!!

=.= Twitchy Nichii

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Bryan C. : The Cheapskate

My article came out in STAR yesterday...and thank god, I can finally jack up the views on my blog...it was getting depressing...writing but nobody reading...aiz...So people, do me a favour, introduce this blog to all your friends and buddies and uncles and aunties and mothers...okay may be not parents, but your grandma and grandpa will do too!!! 

Anyway, today I am here to talk about Bryan. He is a boy in my class in college. And well he is a cheapskate. So let me just tell you snippets about Bryan. (Out to defame you, Bryan. That is what you get for winning by 2 marks in the Law paper...!!!!)

Bryan's philosophy....

I will never pay for a Starbucks myself! Look at the price.... THEY ARE ASKING YOU TO DRINK POISONOUS GOLD NUGGETS OR SOMETHING! The aircon is not even working!! And they expect us to pay government tax and service and charge and what not! Anyway, thank you Nicole for the Starbucks.

Club fees is 3 bucks???!!! 3 FREAKING RINGGIT! I could eat economy rice at the market for 3 bucks, with drinks somemore! Cutthroat ar you!!! (The market is a very very very very VERY VERY VERY faraway place, and yeah the food is crazy cheap, but you have to walk very very very very very VERY VERY VERY FAR. And if you dare say this line to Bryan....) SO WHAT??? WALK FAR ABIT GET CHEAP FOOD, SO DAMN WORTH IT. 

Nicole: Is the food at the market delicious? (market goer virgin)

Bryan: Delicious??!!! Delicious?!?!! Why the hell would delicious even matter?!!!  AS LONG AS IT IS CHEAP! DO YOU KNOW 3 RINGGIT CAN GET 3 DISHES AND DRINKS SOMEMORE???!!!

Nicole: =.= cheapskate. 

Bryan (eating french fries..bought by me of course...) : omg! RM3.80 for French Fries only? CUTTHROAT AR???? That is why I must eat the fries bite by bite and not swallow it down whole...i mean why finish one fries in one bite, when you can savour it in 5 small bites. Taste the same right?

Nicole: I am paying right? So quit complaining.

Bryan: But in the Market,  DO YOU KNOW 3 RINGGIT CAN GET 3 DISHES AND DRINKS SOMEMORE???!???!?!? HECK, with RM3.80, I could probably eat 1 and a quarter of economy rice at the market! 

(Eating at a lousy restaurant, service was slow, bill printed wrongly, food portion was small...)

Bryan: I AM GOING TO COMPLAIN! AND I REFUSE TO PAY THE GODDAMN SERVICE CHARGES!!!

(After complimentary cold burger *most probably wrong order from some other customer...damn, they might've spat into it or something*)

Bryan: I love this people! I will come here and more often...and I don't mind if the service is late! AS LONG AS I GET FREE FOOD!!!)

Jennis: I like guys that foot the bill on a date. Those that don't...so ungentlemanly..

Bryan: YOU CUTTHROAT KAH? IF MY GF NEXT TIME LIKE YOU, terus break up!!!!

Nicole: You are so gonna die old, lonely and moldy...

Nicole: What happens if your future girlfriend wants to go eat at Noodle Station or something?

Bryan: Bring her there. Tell her I am full. While she eats, cry in my heart. Then rush to the market to eat.

Ping Sheng: You not sien ar? Everyday eat at market.

Bryan: Cheap what! In market, for RM3 you get to eat.....

EVERYBODY: SHUT UP MAN!!!

Why eat 3 meals when 2 meals are enough to make you full?

Bryan: I drink Milo in the morning with cereal.

Simon: But, why you dare to drink Milo, I thought you cheapskate.

Nicole: =_=" Sure his mother buy the Milo for him one, not his own money...

Bryan: Wah, you damn understand me hor...!

***********

*****************

And yeah, Bryan created the MARKET PHILOSOPHY which I am too lazy to type out again...=.=

And as Bryan always say...as long as it is cheap and free, why the hell not.

.........

Bryan C.

Relationship status: Single and looking

Dream Girl: Don't spend money and willing to go market with him

Philosophy: Market Philosophy

ANYBODY INTERESTED? 

I HAVE HIS NUMBER! teehee!! 

Ps for those who haven't read the STAR article on 28th...and if you want to read lar....visit here..http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1728602489580&set=at.1519733587988.2079065.1073972824.100000829093765&theater

~Twitchy Nichii 

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